Veterans Day: Thinking of Steve

It's been close to 25 years now that my phone rang about 2 in the morning. The dear lady calling said, "Pastor I hate to bother you, but Steve needs you I think." I hurriedly threw some clothes on and made my way to the simple clap-board house where they lived. She was waiting in the doorway for me and allowed me in with a hug.
There was Steve sitting in the middle of the floor in only his boxers and undershirt. He appeared to be in another world as he sat cross legged stroking the air about 8 inches above the carpet. I sat down beside him, cross legged as well. As I noted his demeanor and eyes that appeared to be seeing things I couldn't see, I softly asked, "Hey Steve, what do you have there?"
He looked up and said, "Oh I was just petting this little dog...isn't he pretty?" Without breaking stride of the moment I reached my hand out with his and began to pet and stroke Steve's imaginary puppy and said, "Yeah Steve, that's a sweet puppy." We talked for a bit about the puppy that wasn't there, and a few other non-consequential things...
Eventually Steve reminded me that he was a WW2 veteran, and as we petted the puppy he began to tell me a story that had been buried in his soul for over 40 years...it was something his dear wife told me later that he had never shared with her any one else.
Steve related how as a kid soldier of 19 he was on a landing barge that fateful day with his platoon and they hit the beach in one of the early waves of the attack...mortar shells were screaming and landing all around him, wide-eyed he watched as fellow soldiers fell to the shells and shrapnel...finally, with several losses his platoon was in a wooded area where they "hunkered down," and waited. After a bit, the platoon leader made Steve the "point-man," to go down the trail near them and report back. Holding his rifle, bayonet in place, securely in firing position he carefully moved along the forested trail...suddenly to his surprise, he was confronted with a German soldier, rifle also in place only about 15 feet from him. His mind already spinning, adrenalin massive, and trying to comprehend the carnage he had already witnessed, he realized it was, "kill or be killed." Tears were now flowing like a fountain, as he moaned a dreadful and agonizing moment; he said, "Pastor, he was only a kid like me, maybe 15. I fired first and he fell. I killed him. I've begged God to forgive me for so many years, but I killed him...that's one of God's commandments, and I killed him. God can't forgive me of that."
I just got closer, reached over and held Steve in my arms and wept with him. As our weeping began to ebb, I shared with Steve the unlimited grace of God, the understanding of God, and that God had forgiven him long ago, but that he was tormented by his own ghosts of that horrible day long ago in a forest at Normandy. We just sat there and prayed together, then Steve looked up at me and smiled!! The torment of 40 years rushed out of him like a zephyr, and a total peace came into the dimly lit room, and rested in his soul. The puppy was gone, and God's love filled our hearts.
About a year after this Steve became ill, went to the VA hospital, and in a short time passed away. It was my privilege to officiate the funeral of not only a war hero, but of a man released of the terror and fright of the past with the awfulness of his deed.
Today I wish to remember Steve and all those other young men on that day, their terror, and what they may have later gone through in life...back then they called it, "Shell-shock," Today we refer to it asPTSD. Whatever it is, I know by my experience with Steve that night that it is not beyond the grace of God!!!!
Today I pause and salute Steve and all the many tens of thousands of true heroes!!!
STEVE, REST IN PEACE IN THE ARMS OF HE WHO LOVES YOU AND FORGAVE YOU!!!!

Victory Gardens

Most often today when we think of gardens we think of pleasant scenes of flowers, scenic greenery, lush grass and stoic trees. But now country folks when talking of their gardens will speak of tomatoes, peas, beans, corn, squash, greens and so on. It seems more and more folks today are urbanized and think of those things only in terms of the produce department in the grocery store. Most of us back "in the day" would have starved if not for home gardens.
I recall as a child going to the "garden" with my Grandmother. My Grandfather plowed a large area just to the west of the old home place, and she tilled it daily to reap wonderful vegetables of all kinds which she spent many hours in the hot kitchen canning. It seems that my grandparents, in the name of survival had already discovered the joy of the garden before WWII ever set in.
However, as the war spread in the early '40s and it became more and more important to call more of the labor source into active service and much transportation had to be diverted to war effort, the government rationed foods like sugar, butter, milk, cheese, eggs, coffee, meat and canned goods. Labor and transportation shortages made it hard to harvest and move fruits and vegetables to market.

Therefore the government turned to its citizens and encouraged them to plant "Victory Gardens." They wanted individuals to provide their own fruits and vegetables. Wessels Living History Farms reports that nearly 20 million Americans answered the call. They planted gardens in backyards, empty lots and even city rooftops. Neighbors pooled their resources, planted different kinds of foods and formed cooperatives, all in the name of patriotism. Fruit and vegetables harvested in these home and community plots was estimated to be 9-10 million tons, an amount equal to all commercial production of fresh vegetables. So, the program made a difference.
Ya know, life is kinda like that too! If we have "victory" in our lives we cultivate, plant, and grow our own spiritual life giving produce! Seems like I remember somewhere someone saying, "Whatsoever you sow, that shall you also reap!" I think it not strange that when Paul spoke of our Victory Garden, he spoke of its produce as the "Fruit of the Spirit!"
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." --- Galatians 5:22
Does what we are growing in our garden of life qualify our life as a "Victory Garden?"
Our fruit does not give us salvation, that is by grace alone; however our fruit does enhance the quality of our life and just may cause our neighbors to want to borrow some of our seed!!!
Plant the right thing in our lives and we get the right results!!

"Every good tree bears good fruit..." --- Jesus Christ

The Heart Healed and Changed by Mercy

How well do I recall since childhood and through the years Opening the hymnal at the Song or Worship Leader's beckon to the words, "There is a fountain filled with blood, drawn from Emmanuel's veins, and sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains..." Those words were first penned in the late 1700's by William Cowper. While it would seem the words came from a heart flooded with grace, we are told that while Cowper  found refuge in a fervent evangelical Christianity, the inspiration behind his much-loved hymns, he often experienced doubt and feared that he was doomed to eternal damnation. (Wikipedia). So fearful and bound was he that he even attempted to take his own life to relieve the torments of his mind and soul. Even his close friend, John Newton, who wrote "Amazing Grace," could not assuage his fears. In 1773, Cowper, experienced an attack of insanity, imagining not only that he was condemned to hell eternally, but that God was commanding him to make a sacrifice of his own life Wikipedia). I can only now wonder why words he penned after accepting the grace of God is not also found in pages of hymnals today...

Sin enslaved me many years,

And led me bound and blind;

Till at length a thousand fears

Came swarming o'er my mind.

"Where," said I, in deep distress,

"Will these sinful pleasures end?

How shall I secure my peace

And make the Lord my friend?"

Friends and ministers said much

The gospel to enforce;

But my blindness still was such,

I chose a legal course:

Much I fasted; watch'd, and strove,

Scarce would shew my face abroad,

Fear'd almost to speak or move,

A stranger still to God.

Thus afraid to trust His grace,

Long time did I rebel;

Till despairing of my case,

Down at His feet I fell:

Then my stubborn heart He broke,

And subdued me to His sway;

By a simple word He spoke,

"Thy sins are done away."

Welcome Home to Grace, Mr. Cowper, Welcome Home!!!

“I Am What I Am” or “I Am That I Am”

Leonard Ward, Servant by Grace

“But by the grace of God I am what I am.”
I Cor. 10:10


“I am that I am.”
Exodus 3:14


Here are two statements by two very separate entities. One is finite and the other infinite. One is limited and the other limitless. One is transient and the other eternal. One is completely human and the other completely God!
One statement by two that is only changed by two words. They are: “what” and “that”. The truths are immense and breath taking. Within the context is the very nature of the holy, eternal, triune God expressing His nature and His relationship to the nature of man.
Paul, “an Hebrew of the Hebrews,” makes his proclamation sure and to the point. Whatever he IS, is due to the grace of He who is I AM. Paul recites his qualifications and credentials in Philippians 3:5, and shortly denounces them as “dung” in verse 8. Paul was satisfied and content to view his only spiritual qualification as the grace of “I AM.” Therefore he stated, “But by the grace of God I am WHAT I am.”
WHAT states a nature of change and dependence. Every thing that Paul was depended on the grace of “I AM.”
On the other hand when Moses queried while bowed shoe-less at the burning bush, “When I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, the God of your fathers hath sent me unto you, and they shall say to me, what is His name? what shall I say unto them?” the response carried no what, but a simple, “I AM…I AM hath sent me unto you.”
Today man seeks qualifications, certifications, and ordinations. Once while in a Texas State training following my profession, the lecturer stated succinctly, “In Texas it’s not what you are competent to do, but what you are certified to do.” We seek and applaud certifications, and the more certificates we have on the wall and with which we can fill a resume’, the greater respect we have. I have several of those myself and have often thought of making one to hang above them all. It would be one word, DUNG. There is no degree that makes you truly educated. There is no certification that makes you truly competent. There is no ordination that qualifies you for service. Below those same certificates and degrees will be another one word plaque, GRACE.
Grace needs no explanation because it defies explanation! That is the nature of I AM. Why did God say to tell them, “I Am hath sent me unto you”? God needs no explanation, and if He gave one we would not understand it. God never explains Himself He defies explanation. He needs no degrees, certifications, or qualifications.
He wills Himself and that is all. He never says, “oops,” “I apologize,” or “my bad.”
Grace pours forth from Him self will in limitless fountains that were opened in his side, feet, and hands, with his only explanation, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” One cannot analyze, modify, or explain that statement into simpler terms. The wayfaring man, the fool, cannot mistake I AM!
Jeremiah experienced the “I AM…GRACE” at the potter’s house. It was the ever-spinning wheel, upon which sat a piece of broken clay being constantly formed and remolded into the potter’s will. The potter was patient with the brokenness and persistent with the forming, until at last he would have a vessel of honor.
Friends, I am still on the wheel. I have felt the loving hands of the potter as the cracks and imperfections of my clay gave way to their firm grasp and crumbled on the wheel. I have felt the touch of infinite love as each piece was gathered again, brought into one, and turned again! There is no explanation, just one word…GRACE! The grace of I AM who is working make me WHAT I AM!!!!!!